Jeff Mitchell’s Lonesome Gallery

Hi everybody.

This is a little awkward.

I don’t know how to tell you this, but…
I am completely selling out. I have enrolled myself in a new class called “How to Become an Indie-Music Marketing Whore in 28 Days”. I need your help.

Will you help me?

My Indie-Music Pimp-Man instructor (Mr. Bob Baker) has instructed me to develop what we in the Marketing Whore (henceforth M.W.) world call a “customer profile”.

See, now that I am becoming a M.W., you are no longer a “listener”. You shall henceforth be referred to as the “customer” or “consumer”. OK?

To develop each “customer/consumer/cog” profile, I will ask you a series of questions. These will be deeply probing (not like that, you sicko) questions which will tell me everything I need to know to develop a marketing (”whoring”) plan which will devastate the music scene and catapult me to stardom (”being able to buy lunch”). I have developed these questions myself so they are sure to be incisive and thoughtful.

I promise not to share this information with anyone, especially my peers in the music “biz”, as I intend to crush their pathetic fingers on the lower rungs of the ladder of success.

Let us begin. Shall we?

ALL ABOUT YOU (the Consumer)

1. Occupation (How much money do you Make?) Would you describe yourself as…
a. CEO of a Major Corporation
b. A mid-level drone in the mind-numbing malaise of the US business world
c. A proletarian class-hero stiving for a better tomorrow through hi/r labor
d. A dirty bum (aka. “Independent Musician”)

bonus: What is your profession and would you recommend it?

2. Interests (Are you a boring slob?) On a Saturday night, would you likely be…
a. Reading Tolstoy in an austere garrett, or perhaps crafting (”latchhook”)
b. Following eighteen holes of golf with a ride in the Benz and some coke
c. Dancing at the all-night techno basement party in sparkly pants
d. Caught in mine disaster. Again.

bonus: If I forced you to read a book, which would you choose?

3. Character (alignment) Would you consider your character alignment…
a. Lawful Good
b. Neutral
c. Chaotic Evil
d. Half-elven bard assassin

bonus: Please sum up your philosophy of life…

ALL ABOUT ME (And why you like Me)

1. When you experience my “work”, how does it make you feel?
a. happy
b. sad
c. emboldened
d. pathetic

bonus: what is the most profound “feeling/emotion” you have experienced as a result of listening to my “music”?

2. When you hear my music, how you respond physiologically?
a. goosebumps
b. a cold sweat
c. euphoria
d. arrhythmia

bonus: What other physiological response have you experienced at a Jeff Mitchell performance? Please discuss.

3. What other life experience does a Jeff Mitchell performance compare to?
a. gardening
b. a rollercoaster ride
c. a nap in a snuggly blanket
d. Pink Floyd laser light show

bonus: What is your favorite life experience to date and how would it compare to experiencing my music?

Thank you so much for helping me conduct this important customer-defining research. Please attach any additional comments, suggestions, recipes and/or stock tips. You have done me a great service. I hope to repay you someday, but don’t get any big ideas.

love, Jeff

Hi.

First things first. As always, you would be a fool to miss…

SOLO AT ARTWALK/DECORAH
downtown decorah,ia
thursday, june 16 / 7-8 PM
Admire local art in the windows of downtown decorah and hear music on the way.

SOLO AT THE GREEN LANTERN/WINONA
w/Dr. Bob’s Puppet Cabaret
Green Lantern Coffeehouse and Cabaret
friday, june 24 /9 PM
This will be a fun, wierd, noisy show for you wierdos out there.

ok. that’s out of the way. thanks to HAPPY and THE POLES for stopping off in Decorah to play us some music. Also, thanks to everyone who came out for this weekend’s EDIBLE ALIEN THEATRE performance (fundraiser for Decorah’s August 27 eclectic music festival). I’ll post photos of the show on the site when I get some.

Also, just thought I’d share a treat with rock and roll lovers out there. One of my favorite bands of all time, the late CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DESCISION TO BECOME A PILOT (of Oshkosh, WI) have posted their eponymous album in its entirety on THE WILLIS’s website. Do yourself a favor and listen to it. You won’t be sorry. If you are, there’s obviously something wrong with you. Here’s the URL…

http://www.willis.kicks-ass.org/joes/average/steve/congrats.htm

Take care of your bad selves. All the best, Jeff

Hello.

So, for those of you in the Decorah, IA area, just wanted to let you know that if it rains tonight (sat. june 4), which it could, I’ll still be playing at Sabor Latino at 8pm. It will just be down in the basement if the weather’s bad.

Also, if you like rock and roll, come out to the Magpie (in Decorah) Wednesday night at 6pm to see my show with Happy (of Oshkosh) and the Poles (of Asheville).

ok. that’s it. take care, jeff